He just went silent on me

He just went silent on me – what should I do?
​The question in itself implies that something can be done or that some action is now required on the part of the female in response to a male’s actions.

If you suddenly feel that your man has withdrawn in mind, body, and soul from the relationship (or your perceived connection), and has limited your access to all that is him, I encourage you to employ the SOLID method.
S – State, openly, your concerns, feelings, love, admiration, and relationship goals to your man.
O – Open the door for honest dialogue. Create a safe space for understanding and conversation free from judgment.
L – Listen carefully, with intent, and without interruption for the messages you hear, and those that you don’t hear. Pay attention to what your man is telling you, and believe him the first time.
I – Inquire about the present and future status of the relationship. Your ability to make a decision that serves in your own best interest may hinge on your understanding of the status of your relationship. Do not allow a question mark to remain where a period should be.
D – Determine your next steps. While your man has choices to make, it is important to remember that you also have choices to make. Independent of the relationship outcome, allow all of your emotions (anger, rage, sadness, joy) to fuel your sense of self love and your ability to plan for what is to come, whatever it may be.

If you explore the meaning of the word ‘solid’, you will see that it can be interpreted several ways including
1.firm and stable in shape; 2. incapable of being changed from its level of greatness; 3. able to retain shape and density when not confined . We are not defined by the status of our relationships; always remember that you are strong, whole, solid, and most of all, capable.

If your relationship remains intact, use this occurrence as one that closes the gap, bridges communication, and ultimately brings you and your man closer together as a loving couple.
If your relationship does not survive this hurdle, then savor the memories made and the love experienced. Alfred Lord Tennyson said it best, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” In every major decision that you approach, it is my belief that you should live your life free of regret and use every experience (good and bad) as one that quickens your growth and prepares you for the life that you are being groomed for.


​In my book, 101 Ways to be Happy Whether you Like it or Not!, I encourage individuals to identify and rid themselves of stagnant and non-productive dating relationships.
Aim for that which makes you happy, brings you joy, and contributes to your smile. Hiding your head in the sand, pretending that all is well, ignoring warning signs, and holding on to your idea of an ideal relationship as if it is reality, is not going to bring you closer to where you want to be in life. Never be afraid to face your reality, stare it down, and claim victory over life’s hurdles. He just went silent on me – what should I do? Simply, thrive. ​

---